The year 2026

January 2026 — both

I discovered this poem, on yellowed 6x8-inch note paper, among the pages of my mom's family genealogy (the main assertion of which is that her father's side of the family, the Gages, can trace its lineage back to John Gage of Stoneham, or Polstead, depending on your source, someplace anyway in Suffolk County, England, close to Ipswich, who at the age of 25 was part of the Massachusetts Bay Company and sailed to North America in 1630 aboard the Arabella with Gov. John Winthrop; a carpenter by trade, he became one of the founders of the First Church of Boston, and also of the town of Ipswich MA). In my very cursory research on Findagrave.com, the trail runs cold from either direction about halfway through the eight other generations between myself and Mr. Gage, and some other details in the genealogy are not quite secure, but it makes a good story to tell. In any event, I recognized the typed lines of the poem as coming from our early-'50s Royal Quiet De Luxe typewriter, a fixture on Mom's cradenza, which served as the family office. The poem sounds like Dad's sense of humor; I can't imagine that he wrote it himself, as he was not the type to scribble verse, but with no title or attribution, who knows? Also I think he was the one who typed it; Mom would have been more careful than to not leave a space between the comma and 'had' in the second line. I love the poem's whimsy and affection, and its unknown provenance adds to its mystique, if verse like this can be said to have mystique.

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It is a problem when you have to find sanctuary from the world. It is the only problem when you have to find it from your life.

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A Key We are either the prisoners of our childhood Or We are patient and persistent locksmiths.

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So I've obviously got a lot of shit going on now, all the more reason for art. I had a Tuesday meeting with PepsiCo in New York but a flight out on Thursday so basically I was stuck in freezing cold New York with nothing to do for Wednesday and Thursday. I've been developing a relationship with Jackson Pollock's paintings over the years but have never really understood them other than that they are visually amazing. I had an ongoing joke with (and about) Jana comparing her sexuality to Autumn Rhythms. So while stuck in New York with a recent suicide in the family, an upcoming divorce and estrangement from a women I've fallen for, I went and sat in front of the picture doing breathing exercises for 5 hours and staring at it. Here is what I learned, if you let your gaze soften so you are not looking at any particular point, if you get the non-focus of the gaze just right, the entire picture moves from chaotic splatter to extremely organized repetitive patterns. Autumn Rhythms looks like a sphere formed by a black mesh grid with a nuclear explosion going on inside of the black spherical grid. When it popped into view, it was spectacular. It also sort of moves on its own, as if I was high. Because I sat there for 5 hours, I had about 5 tour guides come through and not one of them mentioned this reality. I don't think anybody who looked at the picture that day besides me really understood it. I asked GPT about this and it said "yes, this is well known to experts in abstract expressionism" and it went into great detail about how Jackson Pollock understood the rhythms of movement needed to make rhythms on canvas that would be picked up by the brain in order to make these intricate patterns. But, he can't just paint it like Rembrandt, he had to move his body like a dance while splattering and use emergent order to create the final image (that only I saw that whole day!). Crappy abstract experssionism is just splotches on a canvas. Genius is making those splotches manipulate your visual cortex to create an image that only the meditative can see.

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This past Wednesday was my first class for a course that I'm teaching for the first time. Over a decade ago, I developed a course with an adjunct colleague titled Information Graphics. The adjunct moved on and the course wasn't offered for a few years. Last spring, I asked the students if there was an interest to run the course and there was, so I thought, sure why not. Now I'm largely building the course from scratch. I thought I'd be able to stay at least a week ahead of class in preparing material. But the evening before the first class, I found myself staring at PowerPoint considering what to include in the introductory lecture. (I had already prepared the syllabus, first and second projects, a simple technical demo using Datawrapper and a datasheet... but not the material for the first lecture.). So, for some reason, at the last minute, I decided to have our McLaren Park Philosopher's Walk be the subject of the lecture. I searched my phone and the web for images of the granite markers as well as some trails, scenery... I asked you if you had an image of the entrance we tend to use... The idea of using this example was to present something larger than a series of screen or print infographics. Something embodied by the viewer through the act of walking and encompassing the city and natural landscape... I'm sharing the first lecture with you.

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“One doesn’t see exactly where or how to move. Believe me, this is true. Each act, each occasion, is worse than the last, but only a little worse… You wait for one great shocking occasion, thinking that others, when such a shock comes, will join with you in resisting somehow… But the one great shocking occasion, when tens or hundreds or thousands will join with you, never comes. That’s the difficulty. If the last and worst act of the whole regime had come immediately after the first and smallest, thousands, yes, millions would have been sufficiently shocked … But of course, this isn’t the way it happens. In between comes all the hundreds of little steps, some of them imperceptible, each of them preparing you not to be shocked by the next… And one day, too late, your principles, if you were ever sensible of them, all rush in upon you. The burden of self-deception has grown too heavy, and some minor incident. . . collapses it all at once, and you see that everything – everything – has changed…Now you live in a world of hate and fear, and the people who hate and fear do not even know it themselves; when everyone is transformed, no one is transformed…” -Milton Mayer, They thought they were free "It is useless to list the examples; one can only denounce the duplicity of the fictions of the former regime, which can't be believed and were believed. It will be said that the public's lack of sophistication is enough to explain the contradiction; I believe that the cause is more profound. Coleridge spoke of the "willing suspension of disbelief," that is, poetic faith; Samuel Johnson said, in defense of Shakespeare, that the spectators at a tragedy do not believe they are in Alexandria in the first act and Rome in the second but submit to the pleasure of a fiction. Similarly, the lies of a dictatorship are neither believed nor disbelieved; they pertain to an intermediate plane, and their purpose is to conceal or justify sordid or atrocious realities...." Jorge Luis Borges, 'L’ Illusion Comique'

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"It’s wanting to know that makes us matter." Arcadia, Tom Stoppard.

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here is a cool silver half dollar I found. it was made shortly after JFK was assassinated and is the year before they stopped making them in actual silver. so its pretty neat.

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Kennedy Center

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I ended up with the flu and it knocked me out for 2 weeks. The situation with ICE in Minneapolis has reached a critical point, but I’m hoping that the chaotic situation has made more American’s aware to how corrupt the administration is. Hopefully this pain will have a material impact on the midterm elections and swing at least the house towards the democrats. The number of layoffs in the biotech sector and the poor job outlook certainly makes me wonder what my steps to finding employment should be and where I should look. It’s interesting watching companies look to file IPOs for just under $300 million when they have lease obligations for over $500 million. The hubris of these companies is astonishing. It’s also fun to be working with a start up again, even though there is lots that can go wrong and the company will likely fail, it is nice to be in a position to try to give a company it’s best chance of success.

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Aphasia Lacan has this framework I will butcher. There is the symbolic, the imaginary and the real. The symbolic comprises our language, laws, institutions and roles and relations. Schools, hospitals, the city dump, the internet. Nurse, dad, inventor, rascal, cheat, judge addict. The who of who you can be and the where of where you do it. It's the grammar of existence. The imaginary is how you can put that stuff together. It's how we take the symbolic and make it cohere into story. Certain stories make sense for different times and places. You can't be a holy fool in Gilroy. In any case the real is what is in excess of those two categories. It's what spills over and can't be articulated by them. Something happens and you can't find the words. There is no making sense of it. When we talk about what is happening right now it never feels adequate to the moment. I am seeing this time as in excess of articulation.

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The ICE crawls in The ICE crawls out The ICE that crawls in is lean and thin The ICE that crawls out is fat and stout Be merry my friends be merry

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"I think it quite ordinary. Will not a tiny speck very close to our vision blot out the glory of the world, and leave only a margin by which to see the blot? I know no speck so troublesome as self." George Eliot

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Throughout this month, I've been wrestling with my habits, as one often does this time of year. Drier evenings have created room for earlier mornings, and I've started to set my alarm for six thirty and rise before the sun is up. In part, this has to do with accomplishing a number of tasks before the construction workers arrive. But more romantically, it has to do with giving myself a chance to see the outside world light up. Some mornings are a seductive shift from pinks and roses to gold before landing in the frankness of purifying blue. Those days make the world feel full of promise. Often it is a measureless roll from black to dark grey, to slushy grey, to dusty grey, to daytime grey, with only the drama of fog to catch the eye. Days such as those tell me to focus on work and tasks at hand. A mirror held up, not for good or bad, just to reflect. And in it I read the message — get back to work.

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squeeze bottles. fucking squeeze bottles. i've been off-and-on looking for soap dispensers that open on the bottom. spent an hour or so searching for soap dispensers on a**z*n, and got these bizarre results of ceramic, glass, silicone and plastic units that are aesthetically displeasing,too expensive or open from the -top-. that previous sentence doesn't use the oxford comma (twice) because, even at my advanced age, i still can't decide. this hunt for a simple bottle has been an itch that i've been vaguely scratching for months. why? i think it displaces thoughts of nazis, which are my and everyone else's central concern. it's a distraction from gestapo tactics and murders. by the way, there are those who think the proper possessive in that last sentence should be "everyone's else". man, i could never get used to that.… so i searched for "squeeze from the bottom" and got what a**z*n calls "inverted squeeze bottles". so you have to speak a**z*n to get anywhere. and there's my second, my real itch, my real distraction. why do i have to think like them? why do i have to use their vocabulary? i hate them. this thought takes a second or two out of my life many times a day. so even squeeze bottles let the nazis in.

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Atrocities of the month: Blind immigrant found frozen to death on after being abandoned by ICE five miles from home during a blizzard. ICE denies medial treatment to 60-day-year old infant with bronchitis. Later abandons infant & mother over the Mexican border. TN hospital cancels woman's tubal-ligation procedure 10-minutes prior to surgery in order to "protect [woman's] sacred fertility." Robert Kennedy/Kid Rock shirtless sauna workout milk-drinking jeans commercial. Emerald Fennell's "Wuthering Heights." Bombing Iran. Celebrity deaths of the month: Robert Duvall, Jesse Jackson Quote of the month: "The only difference between Trump and Jim Jones is that Trump would charge you for the Kool Aid." Happy thought of the month: The heat death of the universe is inevitable. TV show of the month: Real-time YouTube videos of heterosexual men reacting to Heated Rivalry.

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Words, words. They’re all we have to go on. Tom Stoppard, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern

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I'm island-bound, a mote inside my eye And I can't see you breathing as before I am airless, a vacuum child And I can't stand to reason at your door In this time -> Sonic Youth, 1990

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Boy vs. Tiger

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Is this an example of current economic policy in America?

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my god, ron sent me 70 links to the magnificent ambersons. sifting through them quickly, clicking on the click-worthy ones, saving them to pdfs in another browser because duckduckgo tries to protect you from "bad actors", closing each website before ddg groans under the weight of all the open tabs, checking whether my tablet's battery has enough juice…all took a full day. and i haven't read any of them yet. that will take another few hours. mind you, all this is for a movie i know by heart. and own. in my quest for completion (completism?) the movie itself becomes a distraction for gathering the parts of all this ephemera, assembling everything, and then hoping for nuggets of wisdom in each and maybe getting new insights. it would have taken less time to watch the movie three times in a row. why all these middle men? why do i need intermediaries? the film becomes just a flicker of interest while i put my whole intellectual power in gleaning tiny seeds from others. the world works upside-down.

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Charm is a way of getting the answer yea without asking a clear Question” is a way of getting the answer yes without asking a clear question.

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Got divorced from alcohol on Valentine’s Day. Will probably be paying alimony for the foreseeable future but this way is better for both of us.

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Definitions of words I've learned about this month: Aberrant: adj. - departing from an accepted standard; deviating from what is normal or expected. n. - a person or thing that departs from the normal type. Traduce: v. - to speak badly of or tell lies about (someone) so as to damage their reputation; to misrepresent wilfully; to defame or slander. Fulminating: v. - to express vehement protest or censure; to thunder forth condemnation or denunciation. adj. - of a disease or condition; developing suddenly and with great severity; liable to explode. Lowkenuinely: adv. - in a subdued but authentic manner; a nonchalant characterization of an emotion, desire, or action as being sincere. A portmanteau of 'low-key' and 'genuinely'. Lowkirkenuinely: adv. - in a subdued but authentic manner contextually specific to the postmodern era evoking a level of irony and nihilism. A portmanteau of 'low-key', 'kirk' and 'genuinely' where 'kirk' is acting as an infix. Hagiography: n. - the writing of the lives of saints; a biography of a saint or venerated person. Woad: n. - A plant (Isatis tinctoria) of the mustard family, formerly widely cultivated for the blue dye obtained from its leaves. The blue dye itself, historically used to colour cloth and famously reputed to have been used by ancient Britons to paint their bodies. Antimacassar: n. - a small cloth placed over the back or arms of a chair or sofa to protect the upholstery from grease or dirt, or as an ornamental covering. Dissemble: v. - to conceal one's true motives, feelings, or beliefs; to speak or act hypocritically; to put on a false appearance. Avoirdupois: n. - a system of weights based on the pound of 16 ounces, used generally in English-speaking countries for goods other than precious metals, gems and medicines. Body weight; heaviness of a person. Notional: adj. - existing only in theory or as an idea; imaginary rather than actual. Of a word or phrase: having full independent lexical meaning, as opposed to a structural or grammatical function. Given to fanciful notions; whimsical or fanciful. Mog: v. - to outclass, outlook or outperform someone else. Maxxing: v. - making an act or practice as effective and fruitful as possible, often to an extreme degree. Apposite: adj. - apt in the circumstances or in relation to something; well-chosen; strikingly appropriate. Ventouse: n. - a vacuum cup applied to the head of a fetus to assist delivery; a vacuum extractor. Used as an alternative to forceps during difficult or prolonged childbirth. A cupping glass formerly used in medicine to draw blood to the surface of the skin. Swither: v. - to vacillate, hesitate, or be in a dithering state of confusion. n. - a state of indecision or doubt. Norks; n. - a vulgar term for a woman's breasts.

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Muralist is Maria Cristina Passoti 2019

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Alex Pretti. How do I help to repair our society so that nothing like this ever happens to Avery? Is it repairable? Five year old children are being used as bait by ICE agents…Avery is three tomorrow. In two years Avery will be acceptable as bait to federal agents. I think about this as Avery is crying over what slippers he is wearing while bouncing on his trampoline, completely oblivious to the world he is entering into and the dangers he will face.

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“Until the lion learns how to write, every story will glorify the hunter”

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The attached illustration is what has taken a great deal of my February, so I'll share this image - my latest illustration for the School of Practical Philosophy & Meditation subway ad campaign. Less time, but I like it, are the panels I have in a show that I invited people to graffiti on... It was an early afternoon Valentine's Day

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no agenda

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I am trying to be big and loving Before the boxes gather and I push them over Before the rain falls and I take off running I am only as good as my last lie And I’ve already told you this one How I passed out And all I saw were the eyes of god And I sat at a chair that had no legs And I had a belly with no food in it And I had a temper that could run a 5 minute mile So I was extra pissed off when he told me through short blinks and long stares that, “Everyone comes out wide and wandering.”

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Oil prices, interest rates

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It's interesting that with all that's going on in the world people are drinking less and distillaries, breweries and wineries are going bankrupt. Boy the times are changing. There's a time in every man's when you have to sign your selective services card and it's a time of reflection about what might happen should we go to war. Attacking Iran brings me back to that day and makes me worry about what might happen particularly because I have a son that turns 17 in 2 months.

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If you cannot understand my argument, and declare ``It's Greek to me'', you are quoting Shakespeare; if you claim to be more sinned against than sinning, you are quoting Shakespeare; if you recall your salad days, you are quoting Shakespeare; if you act more in sorrow than in anger; if your wish is farther to the thought; if your lost property has vanished into thin air, you are quoting Shakespeare; if you have ever refused to budge an inch or suffered from green-eyed jealousy, if you have played fast and loose, if you have been tongue-tied, a tower of strength, hoodwinked or in a pickle, if you have knitted your brows, made a virtue of necessity, insisted on fair play, slept not one wink, stood on ceremony, danced attendance (on your lord and master), laughed yourself into stitches, had short shrift, cold comfort or too much of a good thing, if you have seen better days or lived in a fool's paradise -why, be that as it may, the more fool you , for it is a foregone conclusion that you are (as good luck would have it) quoting Shakespeare; if you think it is early days and clear out bag and baggage, if you think it is high time and that that is the long and short of it, if you believe that the game is up and that truth will out even if it involves your own flesh and blood, if you lie low till the crack of doom because you suspect foul play, if you have your teeth set on edge (at one fell swoop) without rhyme or reason, then - to give the devil his due - if the truth were known (for surely you have a tongue in your head) you are quoting Shakespeare; even if you bid me good riddance and send me packing, if you wish I was dead as a door-nail, if you think I am an eyesore, a laughing stock, the devil incarnate, a stony-hearted villain, bloody-minded or a blinking idiot, then - by Jove! O Lord! Tut tut! For goodness' sake! What the dickens! But me no buts! - it is all one to me, for you are quoting Shakespeare.

February 2026 — video

Me practicing being a whirling dervish in front of their club house. As all human religious rituals there is something to it. You raise your right hand up, lower your left hand down, pivot around your left foot rotating counter clockwise and tilt your head 45 degrees (keeping your ears inside the foot axis) and gently let your gaze focus on the ground. You thus can (apparently) with practice hack your body into thinking its physical boundaries are momentarily erased.

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the army really sucks right now.

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Age and denial and catch 22 Context: I am in NC navigating a brother with dementia living in Squalor and trying to get him into a Medicaid program all while his daughter cries foul because he no longer sends her funds to support her alcoholism. Art (and life) is not always uplifting.

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I took these last night around midnight at a property about half a mile from where I live. I was trying to manage the overgrowth, limited lighting, a steep hillside, and not get popped for trespassing. The angles are off which feels all right because this house has a strange presence especially at night, slightly off and scary, something glimpsed out of the corner of your eye.

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Saturn's Parabiotic Zombie Hordes All that's left is appetite. And appetite for our young. And for the destruction of the commons. And for the contract theory of the State. And for the end of the international order. And all Ouroboros.

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Objectivism - individualism -vs. philanthropy and compassion, where does one find "happiness" and what is it?

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I understand, just as you do, that the word 'apple' only points to an apple and isn't actually the apple. I understand, just as you do, that one cannot experience an apple until one holds, smells, tastes the apple. And yet, we both live as if those words in our mind are reality, as if they are the absolute truth of experience. And at some point, the words themselves become the experience. So then, what happens to the real experience that was once there?

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We’re all Luddites now.

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This watercolor exercise is called restraint. You can only use 5 brushstrokes. When you’re painting, you sometimes feel like you need to go back and “fix things” this restrains/restricts you from doing that. You have to let it go. Letting it be.

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"Please Sir, I want some more." Charles Dickens, Oliver Twist

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Сергей Есенин «Я спросил сегодня у менялы…» 1924 * * * Я спросил сегодня у менялы, Что дает за полтумана по рублю, Как сказать мне для прекрасной Лалы™ По-персидски нежное «люблю»? Я спросил сегодня у менялы Легче ветра, тише Ванских струй, Как назвать мне для прекрасной Лалы™ Слово ласковое «поцелуй»? И еще спросил я у менялы, В сердце робость глубже притая, Как сказать мне для прекрасной Лалы,™ Как сказать ей, что она «моя»? И ответил мне меняла кратко: О любви в словах не говорят, О любви вздыхают лишь украдкой,® Да глаза, как яхонты, горят. Поцелуй названья не имеет. Поцелуй не надпись на гробах.® Красной розой поцелуи веют, Лепестками тая на губах. От любви не требуют поруки, С нею знают радость и беду.© «Ты моя» сказать лишь могут руки, Что срывали черную чадру.©

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Oh March, so much happened but so little. More Iran, more layoffs, the gloom cloud keeps growing, but oddly the economy keeps moving along. It's strange when you know a lot of people who unemployed, but yet I haven't heard of other economic indicators like foreclosures, a drop in the stock market or bankruptcies increasing.

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Good fences make good neighbors! Unless the neighbor is Nancy and she is stiffing you on the shared retaining wall and fence you rebuilt for $10K under what her contractor bid… get fenced, Nancy!

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police interceptor

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April Fool’s Day 2026 Shakespearean Style Fools are some of the most beloved characters in Shakespeare’s plays, whether it’s the truth-telling Touchstone in As You Like It, the mischievous Puck in A Midsummer Night’s Dream, or the aptly named Fool in King Lear. Actor Louis Butelli, who played Feste in Twelfth Night for Folger Theatre in 2013, wrote: “Fools in Shakespeare often seem to function as permanent, or ‘professional’ Lords of Misrule. They are often employed by the monarch, or the higher status characters, and because they have some sort of skill—they tell jokes, they sing songs, they offer honest opinions, they are free from the normal social order. So long as they don’t displease their employer, they are free to come and go as they wish.” Here are just a few of the more than 300 times the word “fool” is mentioned in Shakespeare’s works, often by some of his wise—and witty—fools. “Lord, what fools these mortals be!” Puck, our favorite sprite, utters this beloved line in Act III, scene 2 of A Midsummer Night’s Dream. The Folger liked the line so much that it’s inscribed—using the 16-century spelling “fooles”—on the stone base of the aluminum statue of Puck in the west garden overlooking the Capitol. “The fool doth think he is wise, but the wiseman knows himself to be a fool.” All is fair in love and war for Touchstone. He has accompanied Rosalind and Celia from the halls of court into the forest of Arden. In this line from Act V, scene 1 of As You Like It, Touchstone verbally overpowers William, his rival for Audrey’s love.

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So I went and did Holotropic breathing with Jana at a guided weekend event in Prague. Once I had fully hyperventilated I had a vision of the place of my sister's death. The top floor of Macy's from where she swan dived three stories down to the bottom floor of the department store. On the top floor were all of my living relatives. I didn't jump with Erica I more floated down with her like a feather. I guided her down to the bottom floor and we communicated (without words) on the way down. Once she was down, all of my deceased ancestors were there, including my brother, and we had a family council were I was told I needed to take over the patriarchal position of my father and my sister Rachel needed to take over the matriarchal role of my mother. The council continued with all kinds of stuff, the most humorous being a long drawn out conclave regarding puts and calls and cash flow for Cepuder (put forward by Olive Cepuder). Much later in the holotropic experience, I was doing the deep breathing and holding my arms straight up in the air for 20+ minutes which eventually caused my arms, legs and body to go into a whole body cramp. I pleasantly (and yet still painfully) collapsed down onto my mattress with Jana sitting and watching me. I was blind folded so couldn't see anything for the whole 3 hours. The cramping experience was interesting, I remember following the advice of the guide and just embracing the pain and thinking how odd it was. Jana on the other hand, who is supposed to just be there to pass me water or hold my hand during my session, got to relive the experience of her mother having epileptic seizures whom she used to have to take care of from a very young age. At lunch she told me how incredibly scared she was and that she was crying rivers. She looked down at me in my cramped fetal position and said to herself "don't worry, this is Aaron not my mom, he has this under control". I laughed as we ate our supermarket sushi on a bench in the sun and first thought and then said with a laugh "there was nothing about that whole experience that had any feeling of control". Jana's 3 hours were up next after lunch and she was quite scared.

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One of the holy grails of vintage record collecting -- a first pressing of the 78rpm version of Elvis Presley's first recording, "That's All Right" b/w "Blue Moon of Kentucky" on Sun 209 (found, unbelievably, given its excellent condition, as a buy-it-now on eBay), recorded and released in July 1954. Elvis made not have originated the idea of teenage rebellion, but he gave it a theme song: Well, Mama she done told me Papa done told me too Son, that gal you're fooling with She ain't no good for you Well, that's all right...

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Definitions of words I've learned about in March. Elide: v. - To omit or slur over a sound, syllable or word in speech; to run two sounds or words together. To suppress, omit, or leave out; to merge or join so as to eliminate a distinction. Connivance: n. - tacit consent to or acquiescence in wrongdoing by another; willingness to allow or secretly participate in misconduct while feigning ignorance of it. Coreligionist: n. - a person who adheres to the same religion or religious denomination as another. Demiurge: n. - In Platonic philosophy, the divine craftsman or creator who fashioned the material world from pre-existing matter in accordance with external forms or archetypes. In Gnosticism, a subordinate or imperfect divine being held to be the creator of the material world, distinct from and inferior to the supreme or ultimate deity. Revanchist: n. - a person who advocates the recovery of territories lost to a foreign power, or the reversal of a humiliating military or political defeat, typically through aggressive or nationalist foreign policy. adj. - of, relating to, or characterized by such a policy; motivated by a desire for territorial recovery or national revenge. Anima: n. - in Jungian psychology, the feminine inner personality present in the unconscious of the male; the inner self as opposed to the persona or outer personality. The soul or animating spirit; the vital principle. Espuma: n. - A light, aerated foam or froth preparation made using a pressurized siphon; associated with modernist and avant-garde cuisine. Croquembouche: n. - A French confection consisting of choux pastry puffs, typically filled with cream, assembled into a tall cone and bound with spun caramel. Starchitect: n. - an architect of international celebrity whose name and signature style command major institutional or commercial commissions; a figure whose personal brand is as prominent as the buildings they design. A portmanteau of star + architect. Deist: n. - one who believes in the existence of a God or supreme being on the basis of reason and natural evidence alone, without acceptance of supernatural revelation or scripture; typically holding that God created the universe but does not intervene in its affairs. Historicity: n. - the quality or condition of having actually occurred in history; historical authenticity or actuality, as distinguished from legendary, mythological, or fictional status. Bête noire: n. - a person or thing that one particularly dislikes, dreads, or persistently seeks to avoid. Ineluctable: adj. - unable to be resisted, escaped, or avoided; inescapable; inevitable. Akrasia: n. - the state of acting against one's better judgement; weakness of will. The condition, described in Aristotelian ethics, in which a person knows the right course of action but fails to follow it owing to passion or appetite. Protean: adj. - tending or able to change frequently or readily; taking on many different forms, characters, or roles; versatile, variable, mutable. Putative: adj. - generally considered, reputed, or supposed to be something, whether or not this is actually the case; commonly regarded as such. Gracile: adj. - gracefully slender or slight in form; designating a lightly built skeletal structure with relatively fine bones; contrasted with robust. Efflorescence: n. - the action or process of flowering or blossoming; figuratively, the period or state of greatest development or flourishing; a culmination. Scientifically, the formation of a powdery crust or deposit on the surface of a rock, wall or other material, caused by evaporation of water containing salts in solution or by chemical crystallization. Simian: adj. - of, relating to, or resembling monkeys or apes. n. - any of a suborder (Anthropoidea) of primates that includes monkeys, apes, and humans. Chronometric: adj. - Of or relating to the precise measurement of time. Designating a method of dating that yields an absolute, calendar-based date, as opposed to a relative date. Sobriquet: n. - a descriptive or fanciful nickname; an assumed name or epithet, often whimsical or affectionate in character. Invidious: adj. - likely to excite resentment, ill will, or envy in others; giving offense by making unfair distinctions; unpleasant or objectionable in character; involving discrimination. Ekklesia: n. - the principal assembly of citizens in ancient Athens, constituting the sovereign deliberative body of the democracy. The church as a gathered body of believers; the universal or local Christian community. Root of the English adjective ecclesiastical. Alexithymia: n. - a psychological construct describing a deficiency in identifying, understanding, processing, or describing one's own emotions; sometimes characterized by a limited fantasy life and an externally oriented cognitive style. Moiety: n. - each of two equal or roughly equal parts into which something is or may be divided; a half. Each of two complementary social or kinship groupings into which a people or tribe is divided. Chemically, a distinct part or functional group within a larger molecule. Coppice: n. - a traditional method of woodland management in which trees or shrubs are cut back periodically to near ground level to stimulate vigorous regrowth of multiple stems from the base; the resulting growth is harvested at regular intervals. Lapidary: n. - a person who cuts, polishes, engraves, or deals in precious and semi-precious stones. adj. - of or relating to the cutting, polishing, or engraving of gems and stones. Of language or style; elegantly concise, finely crafted, and precisely worded, as if engraved in stone; incisive and durable in expression

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Helping Hand

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Bad omen event of the month: ICE at airports. Atrocities of the month: ICE arrests woman at SFO while her 6 year old child wails. https://youtu.be/mu0ZUy7i6-A?si=krYzyODbUugv-eue Israel and the US targetting world-heritage sites in Iran and Lebanon. https://www.dw.com/en/us-israeli-strikes-damage-irans-cultural-heritage-sites/a-76350565 Israel and the US targetting hospitals, schools, and civilian housing in Iran and Lebanon. https://www.france24.com/en/us-israeli-bombing-destroyed-nearly-10-000-civilian-sites-says-iranian-un-envoy 31-year-old Georgia woman charged with murder after allegedly taking abortion pills.https://jessica.substack.com/p/a-georgia-hospital-turned-her-in Trump abandons US diplomatic corps after starting a war. https://www.businessinsider.com/us-embassies-say-they-cannot-evacuate-americans-middle-east-iran2026-3 State Department outgoing message of war-evacuation hotline: "The US Embassy is not in a position at this time to evacuate or directly assist Americans in departing Israel." https://il.usembassy.gov/security-alert-u-s-embassy-jerusalem-march-2-2026/ Trump blocks top US intelligence agencies from warning law enforcement across the country about rising threats to the homeland tied to his war with Iran. https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-15622933/White-House-blocks-warning-rising-threat-linked-Iran-war.html Siege of Cuba. https://www.science.org/content/article/u-s-blockade-bites-cuba-s-health-care-and-science-suffer Good thing of the month Miichael B. Jordan wins best actor for Sinners. Drug of the month Tirzepatide Food of the month No thank you, I'm not hungry. (see drug of the month) Book discussion of the month Civil Disobedience Letter from Birmingham Jail Quote of the month: See "Atrocities of the month." op. cit. TV show of the month: YouTube videos of heterosexual women watching heterosexual men react to "Heated Rilvary." Heartbreaking celebrity death of the month Nicholas Brendon https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nicholas_Brendon

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Tim Holland, also known as the rapper Sole, has collaborated with many artists throughout his career. My favorite track of his is "Fuck Google," a collaboration with producer DJ Pain 1 from their 2014* joint album, Pattern of Life. The song serves as a critique of the surveillance state, capitalism, and the ever-expanding influence of Google. At the time of the recording, Tim was living in Denver, Colorado, during the most politically active period of his career. He was involved in anarchist organizing and radical media, and served as a key organizer for Occupy Denver. Seeking a different environment to raise their family, Holland and his wife eventually traded Denver for Maine, Tim’s home state. Tim launched his food company Midcoast Vegan which you can follow on Instagram, as I do. I am not a fan of Google but rejecting Google in daily life is basically impossible. Google is a part of our digital infrastructure, spanning search, communication, navigation, and mobile operating systems. I always have Google in the corner of my eye because I need to keep an eye on them as they keep their thumb on all of us. This song brought me joy. I used to go to YouTube to make sure it was still there before. * 2014 Google bought Nest Labs and DeepMind. In 2013 Google bought the robotics firm Boston Dynamics.

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"they have clubbed us off the streets they are stronger they are rich they hire and fire the politicians the newspaper editors the old judges the small men with reputations the college presidents the wardheelers (Listen businessmen college presidents judges America will not forget her betrayers) they hire the men with guns the uniforms the policecars the patrolwagons all right you have won you will kill the brave men our friends tonight" John Dos Passos, USA, The Camera Eye (50)

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All efforts to aestheticize politics culminate in one point. That one point is war. Walter Benjamin, The Work of Art in the Age of Mechanical Reproduction

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NYC is AMAZING! This old Chinese guy was collapsed by the turnstiles. I asked him if he needed help and he asked me to help him get to the street. A Venezuelan guy saw me and stopped and we both helped him get to the stairs. I thought I was fine so I told the Venezuelan guy that I was in no hurry if he had to leave. He thanked me and left. Then near the top of the stairs my guy collapses and a Mexican guy immediately picks him up and we both get him to the street! And then a young AmericanChinese guy who speaks broken Cantonese stops to talk with our little old guy who is nodding out. I call an ambulance and the young guy is on the old man’s phone speaking with a family member and HE GETS IN THE AMBULANCE LEAVES WITH THE LITTLE OLD MAN!!! Beautiful!

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House of Horrors The urgent care doctor looked up from his screen, For sure she could die based on what I have seen. To the ER we drove, my mother and I, With our walker, our shawls, “I will die” was her cry. Security check, rows of chairs, signs with rules An angry young man yelling “death to you fools,” A K-9 so calm - what a sign of good training A woman in pain, seven hours and still waiting. The woman next seat, lets out a deep moan Her last visit they told her you’ll have to go home Drink mineral oil, you’ll feel better, be cured But now she is back, and it’s worse, and she’s scared After hours and horrors they called out our name They handed us papers but wrong person - for shame! We got finally sorted but wished we had known Before coming that never should we have left home.

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mayakovsky himself, at his peak. the lower lid of his left eye is, i think, missing a lash and produces a gap. i'm distracted by this gap because i see it as a tear about to spill over. does he know what will happen? poor volodya.

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This month pushed me past my limits—I learned the hard way how important rest really is.

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"Think'st thou that duty shall have dread to speak when power to flattery bows? To plainess honor's bound when majesty falls to folly." King Lear, Shakespeare

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Atrocities of the month: * [Overturning](https://campaignlegal.org/update/us-supreme-court-has-eviscerated-voting-rights-act-whats-next) of Voting Rights Act. * Fifth Circuit rules Texas schools can require the Ten Commandments in [every classroom](https://www.pbs.org/newshour/politics/appeals-court-rules-texas-can-require-public-schools-to-display-ten-commandments-in-class). * Trump threatens to [nuke Iran](https://www.wsj.com/livecoverage/iran-war-2026-trump-deadline-latest-news/card/trump-warns-iran-whole-civilization-will-die--WmKHwp44HkYuRBPKUC4y), stating "an entire civilization will die tonight." * ICE [drags 86-year-old French woman](https://www.theguardian.com/world/2026/apr/17/french-widow-86-flies-home-after-ice-detention-centre-ordeal) out of her home still in her nightgown. * Amazon fulfillment center worker dies on job; colleagues instructed to "[keep working](https://www.thewesternedge.media/p/everyone-is-replaceable-death-rattles)" around dead worker's body. * One death every [six days](https://www.aclu.org/news/immigrants-rights/deaths-in-detention-ice-is-rapidly-expanding-detention-camps-into-warehouses-despite-record-deaths) in ICE detention centers. * Republicans call for [increase](https://www.the-independent.com/news/world/americas/fox-news-teens-low-birth-rate-fertility-children-b2956006.html?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email) in teen pregnancies. * [Trump threatens to shred trade deals with the UK as punishment for Starmer's opposition to the Iran War](https://www.politico.eu/article/donald-trump-keir-starmer-threatens-unpick-trade-deal-iran-war-opposition/). * [Carpet bombing](https://truthout.org/articles/israel-carpet-bombs-lebanon-after-announcement-of-iran-ceasefire/) of Lebanon. * Pentagon invocation of Avignon Papacy in meeting with Vatican officials following Pope Leo's criticism of war in Iran. * Trump threatens pope for second time; posts AI image of self as Jesus. Unexpected erudition of the month: * Trump administration familiarity with nuances of Avignon Papacy sophisticated enough to use as threat against pope. (see atrocities of the month) Easter quote of the month: * "I think it is very important for the pope to be careful when he opines on matters of theology." – [JD Vance](https://www.ncronline.org/vance-questions-pope-just-war-theory-hours-after-leo-honored-its-founder) Good thing of the month: * Orban defeated in Hungarian election. Unfinished task of the month: * 2025 taxes Least surprising AI generated image of the month: * Trump post of self as Jesus. Ominous travel restriction portents of the month: * [Trump administration proposes pulling US customs agents from airports in sanctuary cities](https://www.reuters.com/world/dhs-says-us-could-stop-processing-international-travelers-some-airports-2026-04-07/)—effectively banning international in those areas. * [NYT article discussing increased instances of college graduates moving abroad in order to default on student loans](https://www.nytimes.com/2026/04/04/business/student-loans-abroad-default.html). Possible wine-bar book-club book of the month: * Here Where We Live Is Our Country: The Story of the Jewish Bund by [Molly Crabapple](https://www.mollycrabapple.com/news/wzclps5z2zp9mccm779ehaczxpewwa) Criterion video of the month: * [Point of Order!](https://www.criterionchannel.com/point-of-order) Hyper-fixation of the month: * Wuthering Heights. Bad literature-to-film adaptation discussions of the month (see hyper-fixation of the month): * [Your depravity bores me: Emerald Fennell's Wuthering Heights](https://youtu.be/tMnH-MhuS8E?si=dM4LtJH5xo6wviw). * [Emerald Fennell's Cinema for Dummies](https://youtu.be/fTVKyU8lod4?si=4s6G-hhwIp-0zp1G). * Wuthering Heights: Yes, Love is Toxic. – [Slavoj Zizek](https://slavoj.substack.com/p/wuthering-heights-yes-love-is-toxic) * [We need to talk about Wuthering Heights](https://youtu.be/9wPYi2GkE-A?si=mnDzRUOFa4s0C2qz). * [I watched Wuthering Heights so you don't have to](https://youtu.be/zjfm8pGrHZ0?si=LWFeOzI_Li9g9WNy). Joe Rogan mockery of the month: * [The Elephant Graveyard](https://youtu.be/7EuKibmlll4?si=Ry2BlUKKQCGbA3Jo) YouTube video of the month: * Faking It: Intimacy Coordinators discuss Heated Rivalry.

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"What is it that is never absent?"

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Is "architect" a verb now? At the bottom of a bus stop ad for an AI thingy, it said, "Architected for agents." Not designed, not built, not even constructed, which OK because constructed is clunky. But not nearly as clunky as architected. It reminds me of a bit in the film Annie Hall, where a character played by Jeff Goldblum is on the phone saying, "I have an idea, but I need funding to turn it into a concept."

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Appellation Augury Autarky Autochthonous Barouche Bibliothecographer Billets-doux Catarrh Costermonger Corvée labor Diffident Delusively Doyenne Éclat Elegiac Etiolated Exegesis Glottochronology Littoral Logomanic Malaprop Ormolu Paucity Plosives Quim Scud Self-flensing Stentorian Varlet Veriest

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Flowers, friends, favorites,

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Will I be able to get through life without ever using ChatGPT? I wish it were so.

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A few months ago, I knew very little about the cannabis industry. Now, I’ve spoken to the founders of two companies that were at the forefront of the synthetic THC or CBD operations in the US. What’s even more interesting is that I used to work with one of them and the other was the husband of an acquaintance. It’s strange how small the world can be at times when you open your eyes and look around. It’s interesting that there’s more momentum building around restricting the sale of CBD because of product that was approved by the FDA 8 years ago. Epidiolex, a CBD based drug was approved for the treatment of seizures, but because of its approval many products found at the cannabis store may now be blocked for sale. I’m not sure if this will really come to fruition because of the outrage it may cause, but it’s interesting that it’s even a possibility. Although I haven’t been with my current consulting company for a long time, it seems to be at a critical point. The company is interested in collaborating with another organization, but the other side has made what appears to be a simple request that could carry a $400 million price tag. I don’t think they realize the scale of what they’re asking, but now we need to help them understand the implications and align expectations, so the deal doesn’t fall apart. It’s a strange meandering adventure that life takes us on around this yearly orbit around the sun.

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Do you think the LBTQ community will coopt the upcoming He-Man film?

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You can’t yell at a flower and make it grow. It needs care and attention to flourish.

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After I left Full Belly several months back, heading to catch a flight out of SFO to Prague, I ditched Kurt at the casino gas station and made my way to the SF Moma with the intent of staring at a Jackson Pollock for several hours, similar to what I had done in NYC several months prior. When I got to the Moma, paid my $50 I head straight for the Pollock only to discover that it was not an abstract expressionist drip painting, but more of a normal(ish) painting from Pollocks early period. With great disappointment I mulled around a bit, looked off to my left and saw a giant Rothko. "Hmm, I thought, I didn't think much of Rothko at the NY Moma, but I guess I have no choice". So I headed over to Rothko, set up my standing position, started my weird somewhat loud breathing exercises and stood there for about 2 hours listening to Philip Glass's Einstein on the Beach. Progressively by messing with the focus of my eyes, my breathing and with my thoughts in my head, I could get the entire picture to go from orange and blue to entirely orange or entirely blue. Then later I got it to turn completely black. I also managed to zoom in on the border between the colors and create a horizon line with a vilage. I completely lost track of almost anything outside of the picture for about a half hour (in a trance state). At some point I was sort of "disrupted" by somebody who came and stood next to me for about 10 minutes. They could tell that I'm doing something weird from my breathing and non movement and they decided to do it with me. I don't know if it was a male or a female, old or young, I just know they walked up and 'tranced' with me for 10 minutes. I was tempted to reach out my hand in an upwords position and see if they placed their hand in mind. I didn't have the cojones to do it unfortunately. Eventually they wandered off but it was a good shared experience all the same. I chuckled at the $50 ticket to look at one picture, but basically I occupied the Rothko for the full two hours other than the one fellow traveller. Given that the picture is worth at least $50 million, I figure if I had to pay the interest on it for two hours it would be $500, so at $50 I came out ahead.

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So after my NY Moma Pollock Autumn Rhythms and then Rothko at the SF Moma I returned to Prague where I have a season pass to the National Gallery. It's been a rough six months of getting divorced so staring at abstract pictures seems to be one of the ways to cauterize the wounds. So on a tough day I headed over to look at Kupka's Amorfa (1912) painting, one of the first abstract painting made in the modernist period. So I stared at it for an hour, set my music up and damn if that picture doesn't turn amazingly neon if you stare at it the right way. It wasn't nearly as radical of an experience as I had with Pollock and Rothko, but then on the other hand, this guy was 30 years before them. Amorfa became 3D, the red and blue colors had glowing gradients that pulsed. I've gotten over worrying about if anybody will bother me when I stand in front of a picture motionless breathing weirdly for an hour or more. I did a second picture the next day (from a less known Czech artist) and I also got that painting to go crazy but the effect was much weaker. Seems like a good test to confirm that the perception distortion from these master was intentional.

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# May 2026 *From Sarah Sullivan — June 3, 2026* **Atrocities of the month:** - FBI "[Payback Squad](https://newrepublic.com/post/210381/kash-patel-political-hit-squad-donald-trump)" - [Rededication 250](https://freedom250.org/celebration/rededicate-250-a-national-jubilee-of-prayer-praise-and-thanksgiving) - [Delaney Hall conditions](https://youtu.be/IPBuhdgX_T0?si=oUBlKJs6-aSeurC1) - [Israel rape program](https://www.nytimes.com/video/opinion/100000010886586/the-horror-of-sexual-assault-in-israeli-prisons.html) - [Bombing of Nigeria](https://www.dw.com/en/whats-behind-the-us-bombing-in-nigeria/video-77302868) - "[2026 Counterterrorism Strategy](https://www.whitehouse.gov/wp-content/uploads/2026/05/2026-USCT-Strategy-1.pdf)" - [Trump $1.8 billion slush fund](https://www.wsj.com/politics/policy/what-to-know-about-trumps-1-8-billion-anti-weaponization-fund-d8ceb872) - [San Diego Islamic Center mass shooting](https://www.cnn.com/2026/05/18/us/live-news/san-diego-islamic-center-shooting) - [ICE pepper sprays Democratic Senator Andy Kim (NJ)](https://thehill.com/homenews/senate/5894457-andy-kim-pepper-sprayed-delaney-hall/) - [White House UFC tent construction](https://share.google/EvKQtBntPLWNngKg8) **Ominous vacation planning news of the month:** - [Threat to pull customs/ban international travel into and out of airports in sanctuary cities](https://www.reuters.com/legal/government/us-drawing-up-plans-halt-immigration-customs-processing-sanctuary-city-airports-2026-05-27/). **13th Amendment SCOTUS case prediction of the month:** - [Do ICE detainees fall under the 13th Amendment exception to slavery](https://www.projectsaltbox.com/p/contracts-show-ice-planned-detainee?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F71cb8a25-dabb-48ec-8938-2989b9bb92eb_1536x864.png&open=false)? **Political theory of the month:** - [Thucydides Trap](https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026/may/15/thucydides-trap-explained-xi-jinping-donald-trump-us-china-taiwan) **Dalton Trumbo award recipient of the month:** - Stephen Colbert **Celebrity deaths of the month:** - Ted Turner - Barney Frank **Kitten of the month:** - Eloise **Reasons to vote videos of the month:** - [Ali Velshi reporting at Delaney Hall protests](https://youtu.be/w21m2lZO4Kw?si=AQkhRr72hpw0UDUZ) - [This is America—Al Jazeera](https://youtu.be/tqd3rAYmIY4?si=dyqLcjjJ7ShS7ZRU) **YouTube videos of the month:** - Affable heterosexual British lads livestream Severance seasons 1 & 2 with a mid-season livestream detour of Heated Rilvary --- *In Memoriam* Eric Bigone

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I’ve been cooking a lot of lentils this year of different variations. Here is one: Indian Lentils ½ to 1 cup brown or green lentils (use more if you are not adding another protein) ½ to 1 pound protein (tofu, TVP, fish, chicken, pork, beef can all work). 1 large onion 2-3 carrots 2-3 celery stalks 4-6 garlic cloves 8 oz of spinach fresh or frozen Chicken stock, veggie stock, or water 1-2 tbsp ginger minced or paste 1 tbsp tomato paste Canned diced/crushed/whole tomato (14.5 -28 oz) 1tbsp cumin seed preferably toasted and ground 1 tsp coriander seed same as above 1 tbsp curry power 1 tsp gram masala 2-4 cardamon pods (optional) ½-1 tsp amchur powder (optional) Red curry powder, cayenne or fresh chilies to taste The recipe is fairly simple. Sauté or brown your protein in oil and remove. Then sauté veggies with salt and oil in the same pan. Once softened, add tomato paste and spices and allow it to bloom a few minutes. Add your stock and tomatoes of choice. You really can’t go wrong here, the amount depends on whether you want a thick curry or more of a soup, just make sure to cover the lentils. Add lentils and add back your protein if using. The lentils need to cook for at least 20 minutes. I add the spinach in the last 2-5 minutes. Remove cardamon pods at the end if using. You can create quite a few variations by changing the spice mix and veg (add root veg, zucchini, broccoli, cauliflower). I do one with a Berber spice mix for a North African feel. Asian with soy, black vinegar, and oyster sauce. Mexican with cumin, chili powder, fresh or reconstituted chilis, etc..

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The deep motive for all art is defeating the formlessness of the world. We live in a kind of rubble, and we are always making forms. Iris Murdoch

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i collect gestures no one does any more. it makes me feel like the book people in fahrenheit 451. if i don't keep this list, future generations watching old movies will ask themselves “why did people a hundred years ago twirl their finger next to their temple?” at least there's one of us left that can explain it to them. (“they're saying the other person is crazy, dear.”) these gestures weren't beautiful but they were very expressive, mainly because they were so exaggerated, like rubbing your eyes with the base of your palms to show disbelief. or rubbing your hands together, flaring your nostrils and squinting because you're going to do something villainous. but if you rubbed your hands together and smiled, you were going to eat something delicious. of course the history and meaning of some gestures are more opaque than others. showing pride by breathing on the nails of your right hand and then stroking them up and down on your right lapel used to be done all the time in my childhood. not only do none of us do it any more, but no 𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘥 does it either. there are weird international variations on this: my italian friends polish their right-hand nails on their 𝘭𝘦𝘧𝘵 lapel. but no matter. a pity that you never see, say, an olympic gold-medal winner doing it after their victory. much too cool for them i suppose. and what about the shame finger? is it lost because no one feel shame any more? you gave someone the shame finger by sticking out your left index finger, pointing it at the shamed person, and stroking it with your right index finger back and forth.¹ the last time i saw anyone do this in the wild was tarantino in pulp fiction. of course some gestures will be lost because they depend on dead technology. tapping your wrist as the international symbol to ask the time might stick around for a bit, but in a few generations making a circular motion with your arm at someone in a car to ask them to roll down the window ² will be meaningless. unless they wonder whether you forgot where your temple was. i've been thinking about this for a few months because there's one gesture that has made a comeback on the internet: the so-called “chef's kiss”, in which you bunch up the fingers of your hand, kiss them, and then fling them towards the sky. when i see these memes i breathe a sigh of relief—one less burden for me to carry. and i take heart; if we all adopt one dead gesture each, we can revive them and make our visual culture that much richer. my personal favorite is a bit bolder than fingernail polishing and i'm just the girl to bring it back. i don't know its proper name, but i call it the “boxer's victory”. you clasp your hands together, lifting your arms so that your hands are level to your right ear. you then wag your arms exactly twice, move your clasped arms toward your left ear, and wag twice again. boxers don't even do it any more ¹ “what and why the actual fuck?” i hear you cry. indeed. ² hah! “roll down!”…must add this to my list of words and phrases that are obsolete.

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Aesthete Alluvial Aril Arriviste Cenotaph Chthonic Epigone Hummock Loess Probity Protactinium Quisling Teleological Travois Unexpurgated Vexillologist

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The Panic of 1873

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We think of loneliness as being where you’re not supposed to be & not wanting to be there, but loneliness is also being where you’re supposed to be & not wanting to be there and being where you’re not supposed to be & wanting to be there, too And even landing in the magic quadrant—being where you’re supposed to be & wanting to be there—is probably gonna wear off soon

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Today my word is baseball- I just watched my grandson play - he hit his first home-run. I was with my daughter and son-in-law. Last week I was with my oldest son and his family in Normandy, France - touring the beaches and Mortain - ending at Mont-St.-Michel. Last month I visited my youngest son and family in California - celebrating teenager birthdays. - Baseball runs through all those memories for a variety of reasons. Not to mention my relationship with Mark - and his love of the game. It's American - and it has never been played on the White House Lawn - at least not in a monetized. Baseball -

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Sitting in the small train station of the town Santhia, about an hour outside of Milan, I will share a few reflections and images from my brief stay in Milan. I’m in Italy to do a residency at Cittadellarte UNIDEE Residency program. I am one in a cohort of twelve for Module VII – Spell of Color from 15 to 19 June 2026, led by mentor Cromoactivismo and Marina De Caro. We will collaboratively consider if color can join the poetics of the word and political action? How can political proposals enter into dialogue with the experiences and sensitivities that color provokes in our bodies? The goal is to generate a “new color chart that gives rise to other possible future narratives.” As I’ve never been to Milan and the residency is only a week long, I decided to come three days early to see a bit of Milan with a focus on art - old and new. However, I did visit the Museum of Archeology that is built upon the remains of a first century plebeian home and also incorporates a tower that is part of the city wall started mid-third century to defend against the Barbarians. The museum is designed to demonstrate how human civilization builds upon itself. It also functions as a reminder of how our brief lives are part of something much greater. From the Archeology Museum, I made my way to Milan’s cathedral Duomo, an absolutely amazing, an incredible work of human engineering and labor.

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100 Greens An experiment in using watercolors. This one is called “100 Greens”. It’s wonderful what mixing two primary colors, blue and yellow, can do. In the paint box, there are 5 or 6 yellows from a lemon yellow to a deep sienna. There are at least 5 or 6 blues from a cerulean blue to a ultramarine blue. Many shades of blue and many shades of yellow make many, many greens. Is this some metaphor for life? One color is one path with variations in depth and intensity, but two colors mixed in different proportions make many, many, many paths. Be adventurous.

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For more of a local focus, May wrapped up with several activities. I was an assistant coach for my daughter’s recreational softball season, and she was able to win her fourth recreational title in five years. While it was not a major accomplishment, it was still fun. It’s always interesting when schadenfreude comes out, but the best part of winning was beating a team that really valued winning and seeing how upset they were about losing that game. That was my secret competitive side showing up. My son finished his uneventful high school swim season. While he did fine, it’s a relief not to have to worry about getting to the extra practices, and we can look forward to summer. Also, to go a little darker, as the world gets ready to crown its first trillionaire, imagine the financial benefit to the state or federal government in the event of his death. If the government could retrieve 5% of it, that would be at least $50 billion coming into government coffers, providing relief to some budgets. I would hope that the tax penalty is bigger than that, but I imagine most of the money is in trusts. It would also likely trigger sales by others, which would probably be taxable.

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“Emptiness” I can not really think of anything that really stood out last month other than it being busy. Sometimes when it’s that busy I kind of just go blank

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Things you aren't supposed to do before a lipid panel: unusual eating, alcohol, surgery recovery, less exercise, disrupted routine. Things I did before my lipid panel: unusual eating, alcohol, surgery recovery, less exercise, disrupted routine.

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June was about Eric. And Lisa & Jer & Lucca & Paloma. June was a big month for feels… maybe the biggest in decades.

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Remembering you: Pizza suspended with paper clips to avoid cock roaches K Strret parking lot. Memories, Smiles.

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I am not Bruce Connor

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You and Me Me and You

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the Browning FN, Model 1910, serial number 19074, that killed 9 million people.

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Shakespeare’s Sonnet 64 Sometimes the choices we make around relationships and work seem to have no choice in them at all. Each of us grapples with forces far larger than our goals or ourselves: each of us wrestles with our family inheritance, our educational possibilities, the lucky or unlucky DNA that ordains our health and, especially, the fateful time in history into which we were born. There are other powers we like to forget. Nature can be a deadly arbiter of our future, independent of our human need to plan. As human beings, we have a necessary conceit about our own ability to influence events. The truth about our own modest contribution might immobilize us: much easier then, to tell ourselves a story about how much we make our own reality. The United States, that supposed bedrock home of upward mobility, is actually one of the developed industrial nations where people are most likely to live and die in the class to which they were born. We are creatures who like to believe our own publicity, and we do not like to face powers that can easily surpass and encompass our best hopes. We hope always for a free pass to circumvent forces that humble us on a daily basis. Although we can never escape these overarching powers and difficulties, it can be instructive to look to those who have made sense of their life or their work in the midst of overwhelming circumstances, circumstances where we would have every reason either not to try or to look the other way and pretend they did not exist. Shakespeare’s sonnet 64 is unstintingly courageous in this regard: it demonstrates the kind of courage needed to look the leveled World Trade Center towers in the eye, to survey a devastated New Orleans or to say goodbye for the last time in the face of a loved one’s death. When I have seen by Time’s fell hand defaced The rich-proud cost of outworn buried age; When sometime lofty towers I see down-razed And brass eternal slave to mortal rage; When I have seen the hungry ocean gain Advantage on the kingdom of the shore, And the firm soil win of the watery main, Increasing store with loss, and loss with store; When I have seen such interchange of state, Or state it self confounded to decay, Ruin hath taught me thus to ruminate That Time will come and take my love away. This thought is as a death which cannot choose But weep to have, that which it fears to lose. We do not need to understand the meaning of every line, we do not need to know that Shakespeare is standing among stately funeral monuments, where even the solid brass depicting the noble dead is worn by age, to know he is looking at the passing of all he loves and all he wishes to preserve. Shakespeare’s ability to face death does not have to depress us; it might make us want to work less and spend more time with a daughter; to walk out of the house and into the fields while we still have the legs, the breath and the ability to do so. Sonnet 64 looks at the need to catch the tide while the tide is in and travel out with it as it ebbs. There is no other choice of course. Sonnet 64 looks at forces greater than the human mind can countenance. There is nothing personal about death taking us away; it is simply the ebb and flow of a tide beyond human understanding. But Shakespeare’s full appreciation of the unremitting nature of time brings us alive to both the vulnerabilities and opportunities of the present.

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Ipswich Town FC -- the only professional soccer team in Suffolk County, England -- is back in the Premier League, having won promotion from the Championship League for the second time in three seasons. In 2024, they became only the fifth team in 32 years to win two consecutive promotions, from League One to the Championship and from the latter to the Premier, to join the top league. They were immediately relegated back to the Championship in 2025 when they came in 19th, but found their mojo again this past season, coming in second to secure a spot in the top flight. Go Tractor Boys!

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We seem to always be looking for something. Do you even remember why you started looking in the first place? I can't seem to recall.

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Amanuensis Piscary Ambit Propitiation Sangfroid

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# June 2026 ## Atrocities of the month: * Being alive in America * UFC fight on White House lawn * [Mississippi police killing of 1-year-old Kohen Wiley over reports of diaper shoplifting at Wal-Mart](https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026/jun/17/mississippi-police-walmart-shooting) * [Anti-ICE protestors sentenced to 450 years in prison for (*inter alia*) owning printing press and printing zines](https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/ng-interactive/2026/jun/24/prairieland-texas-ice-protests-zines) * [LAPD kill dog wearing Knicks jersey as family celebrates championship win](https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026/jun/16/los-angeles-police-fatally-shoot-pet-dog-of-family-celebrating-knicks-win) * [Religious Liberty Commission's draft report](https://www.justice.gov/religious-liberty-commission/media/1449896/dl?inline) ## Happy events of the month: * NY Knicks wining NBA championship after 53 years * [Scottish football fans (Tartan Army) invade Boston for World Cup and drink all the city's beer](https://www.espn.com/soccer/story/_/id/49096272/scotland-fans-drink-boston-dry-local-bars-run-beer-world-cup) * [DSA midterm wins](https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026/jun/29/centrist-democrats-democratic-socialists-backlash) ## Stupid information that doesn't matter matter of the month: * Trump's low polling data ## Egregious SCOTUS decisions of the month: * [Allen v. Milligan, 25A1314; Allen et al. v. Singleton, 25A1315; Allen et al. v. Caster, 25A1316](https://www.supremecourt.gov/opinions/25pdf/25a1314_7m58.pdf) * [Trump v. Slaughter, 25-332](https://www.supremecourt.gov/opinions/25pdf/25-332_qn12.pdf) * [Mullin v. Doe, 25-1083](https://www.supremecourt.gov/opinions/25pdf/25-1083_f204.pdf) * [Blanche v. Lau, 25-429](https://www.scotusblog.com/cases/bondi-v-lau/) ## Fascist milestones of the month: * *See atrocities of the month protestor prison term* ## Stupid christian bullshit of the month: * [Saving America by Saving the Family: A Foundation for the Next 250 Years](https://www.heritage.org/sites/default/files/2026-01/SR323.pdf) ## Celebrity deaths of the month: * [Anthony Head](https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cd0p0rz4n0mo) * [Marjane Satrapi](https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c4g0nnj51jyo) * David Hockney * [Gene Shalit](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gene_Shalit) * James Burrows ## Holidays of the month: * Bloomsday * Brian's birthday * Juneteenth ## Social media posts of the month: * Videos of the Tartan Army in Boston for the World Cup ## Comfort movie of the month: * The Exorcist: The Director's Cut ## New movie of the month: * I Love Boosters ## TV show of the month: * *Hacks* season finale ## Tell-All Memoir of the Month: * "Coming to the Cottage: My Journey of Acceptance," Lyndsey Graham's musings on Heated Rivalry

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Time to get strong again!

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What to the slave is the 4th of July?

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Hi ho, hi ho…Back to school I go!

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Life Death

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The World Cup is starting, and it’s always exciting to see the nationalism from both the country where people live and their ethnicities. However, the schadenfreude that people have for other countries is even more intriguing. The visceral hate that people have towards other countries usually remains quiet in their everyday lives, but it emerges during the World Cup. People remember every instance of how their country was wronged over the past millennia, and I find it fascinating.

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I'm falling asleep on the bench at the Fully Belly Farm black walnut dining room table and the next thing I know, Thomas has pulled out Garage Band and is creating background beats with Wordie for a rap song. I dose off and then come back and they are crafting lyrics, I contribute a few rhymes, I think mostly the stitches part and fall back asleep. Next time I wake up they are recording Wordie rapping, at which point I move over to the other side of the walnut table, sit up and start practicing with Wordie. We spent a good 2 hours getting the recording down. We used the straight outta compton "Cruisin..." scene with Eazy-E as our model. cruisin. NO, it's CRUISIN! "I'm not your rapper, he's your rapper". Eventually Wordie got his groove on, Thomas worked his magic and we got this song. Wordie was exhausted and glowing at the end. A charming anti-parental sort of fatherly moment.

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# July 2026 ## Atrocities of the month: - [Arrest of Major Justin Watson](https://truthout.org/articles/capitol-police-arrest-air-force-major-during-impeachment-protest-against-trump/) - [National Guard murder of Memphis resident Tyrin Johnson](https://tennesseelookout.com/2026/07/06/national-guard-troops-on-patrol-in-memphis-fatally-shoot-20-year-old-man-according-to-tbi/) - [Suspicious disappearance and death of Xavier Nolan Wells](https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026/jul/19/nolan-wells-mississippi-investigation) - [Fourth of July white nationalist march on D.C.](https://www.reuters.com/world/us/masked-patriot-front-white-nationalists-stage-july-4-march-through-dc-2026-07-04/) (see *Photo of the month*) - [ICE killing of Houston resident Lorenzo Salgado Araujo](https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cm2rm66xd17o) - [ICE killing of Maine resident Joan Sebastián Durán Guerrero](https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026/jul/14/ice-shooting-maine-joan-sebastian-guerrero) - [Cyclosporiasis](https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c621m66qm76o) (explosive diarrhea parasite) - [ICE kidnappings at SFO](https://www.ktvu.com/news/video-two-bay-area-women-detained-ice-airports) - [Escalating ICE kidnappings at SFO](https://www.sfchronicle.com/politics/article/ice-airports-immigrants-22365537.php) - [Trump Administration Unleashes Global Campaign to Crush Radical Left Terrorism](https://www.whitehouse.gov/releases/2026/07/trump-administration-unleashes-global-campaign-to-crush-radical-left-terrorism/) ## Photo of the month: - [America250](https://s.yimg.com/lo/mysterio/api/6c04ff58cd3fd93caf17baa0df306630c7289cf651bb9fb1657db923f5593293/lightyear_networkapi/resizefill_w960;quality_80;format_webp/https://media.zenfs.com/en/the_independent_635/8d8ba0b9c8c93b58f57934351f6e941f) (see *Atrocities of the month*) ## Celebrity deaths of the month: - [Bonnie Tyler](https://youtu.be/lcOxhH8N3Bo?si=D8uE-FXssFesPuil) - [Lindsey Graham](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lindsey_Graha) - [Sam Neill](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sam_Neill) - [Brenda Fricker](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brenda_Fricker) - [Glen Hansard](https://youtu.be/sCZcJHAcAZ4?si=F8SMcPMd7yoo5UuS) ## Sports event of the month: - [Oakland Ballers v. Boise Hawks](https://www.pioneerleague.com/sports/bsb/2026/boxscores/20260726_pkr4.xml) ## Movies of the month - All That Jazz - North by Northwest - The Odyssey (see *Christopher Nolan's "The Odyssey" reviews of the month*) ## TV show of the month: - Mad Men ## Liminal Spaces of the Month: - [Tommy's Joynt](https://tommysjoynt.com/) - [Audium](https://www.audium.org/) - [Route 101](https://www.yelp.com/biz/route-101-sf-san-francisco?dd_referrer=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com%2F) ## Christopher Nolan's "Odyssey" reviews of the month (see *Movies of the month*) - "[The Odyssey: Finally a Good Chamnber Drama](https://slavoj.substack.com/p/odyssey-finally-a-good-chamber-drama6)," —Slavoj Žižek - "[An Uncomplicated Man](https://www.lrb.co.uk/the-paper/v48/n14/emily-wilson/an-uncomplicated-man)," —Emily Wilson - "[Christopher Nolan's 'The Odyssey' Leaves the Gods in the Outtakes](https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2026/07/27/the-odyssey-christopher-nolan-movie-review)," —Richard Brody ## Prodigal child of the month: - Ricardo Miranda ## YouTube videos of the month: - [Jesse James Rose](https://www.lipstickalley.com/threads/trans-influencer-jesse-james-rose-reveals-that-in-college-she-was-paid-for-s%C3%ABx-with-lindsey-graham.6159328/) shares secret real-time reaction videos she took of Lyndsey Graham binging *Heated Rivalry*. (see *Tell-all memoir of the month*, June 2026)

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# I Take Master Card ## (Charge Your Love To Me) **Nikki Giovanni** I've heard the stories 'bout how you don't deserve me 'cause I'm so strong and beautiful and wonderful and you could never live up to what you know I should have but I just want to let you know: I take Master Card You can love me as much as your heart can stand then put the rest on account and pay the interest each month until we get this thing settled You see we modern women do comprehend that we deserve a whole lot more than what is normally being offered but we are trying to get aligned with the modern world So baby you can love me all you like 'cause you're pre-approved and you don't have to sign on the bottom line Charge it up 'til we just can't take no more it's the modern way I take Master Card to see your Visa and I deal with a Discovery but I don't want any American Express 'cause like the Pointer Sisters say: I need a slow hand.

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Don't think about making art, just get it done. Let everyone else decide if it's good or bad. Andy Warhol

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An Evening at the Audium Due to very dear and kind old friends, I discovered the Audium, a live sound spatialization theater tucked between San Francisco’s Civic Center and Japantown neighborhoods on Bush Street off of Franklin Street. The immersive sound theater features 176 speakers for live performance. Upon entering the theater, there’s a narrow L-shaped lobby with projections along the white walls. At one corner of this L-shaped lobby is a very dated white ceramic water fountain, not unlike those once found at schools. Up a set of stairs, a bathroom. Opposite from the entrance along the L-shaped lobby is an arched and black curtained entrance to the theater. We waited for a while to be invited into the theater. Eventually, a young woman opened the curtain, introduced the space, and asked us to turn off our phones. We proceeded into the theater along a ramp. The entrance is narrow and has two 90-degree turns. The ramp exists because the floor of the theater has been lifted so that speakers could be installed below the floor of the immersive theater. Once we entered the space, we found a medley of chairs in concentric circles. The walls are white, and the ceiling is black, but filled with concentric circles of acoustic panels. Hanging from this ceiling were many, many speakers of different diameters and hanging at different lengths. The space felt dated. The angles of the room reminded me of Zardoz’s memory room, but with once pristine white walls akin to the interior of 2001 A Space Odyssey’s Discovery One. If one looks up at the old acoustic panels, you’ll find some with yellow water damage… Our evening’s performance was a restaging of a twenty-channel 1970s sound work. It was composed from ambient sounds of street life in San Francisco, from a bus ride to Chinatown to cable cars to children playing on the streets…. The work was fine; a 50-minute composition of ambient sounds is a bit much for me (I’m very narrative oriented). Following the performance, we walked down Bush Street to Van Ness Avenue where Muni buses drove past us featuring ads from Artificial Intelligence companies such as Blackbox AI, Scale, Webflow, CodeSignal, Artisan AI, ChatGPT…. San Francisco billboards are also filled with AI ads. The AI bubble has made an already unaffordable city even more expensive to live in. An experimental sound art theater launched by two artists could not happen in today’s San Francisco. In fact, the last art school in San Francisco- the California College of Arts is shutting down in 2027, and its campus has been bought by Vanderbilt University. It will be the first time in over a hundred years that San Francisco will not have a fine art college. As capitalism consumes itself, it has eaten away at experimental creativity. People fear the rising use of AI for many reasons, from energy consumption to unemployment to inequality, but as a tool of late or post-capitalism, perhaps it is also aiding in the disappearance of sustained creative experimentation in our cities.

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# July During the month of July I checked off some high ticket items on my bucket list. I went on an all inclusive cruise of the New England coast with my grandparents, in which I befriended a group of retirees and learned about the importance of day drinking in your 60’s. And I dated a gay guy for two weeks. The cruise started out as a joke but when my grandmother bought me a ticket I had no choice but to go. It was eight days aboard the *American Liberty*, stopping at places such as Martha’s Vineyard, Nantucket and Bristol, Rhode Island. The ship was on the smaller side with only 100 passengers, all above the age of 60. I was the youngest person on the boat by 40-plus years. I can not say I did not enjoy the attention, I mean every woman wanted me to be their granddaughter and every man wanted to caress the small of my back. The first night a woman named Deb came up to me during a lecture and asked if I wanted to get the hell out of there and have a cocktail on the top deck. I happily agreed. As we had our cocktails and took in the New England sunset she tried to convince me that she was young as well. She was 68. > “I mean some of the people on this cruise can barely walk. I’ve only had one hip surgery,” she said proudly. Deb spent two hours showing me pictures of her miniature Shitzu, “Sparkle” and complaining about her son's recent elopement. There after me and Deb had a nightly ritual of debriefing the day with cocktails and smack talk. > “I mean did you see the portions they gave at breakfast?” she complained. “It is despicable, my husband paid good money for this cruise.” Although the cruise was small there was no lack of lively activities, such as cornhole (which only a handful of passengers could actually participate in), mah jong, and an eccentric gay pianist paired with dinner each night who solely played showtunes. I thought I might have had some down time to read my book on the cruise but my dance card was full. All the passengers wanted a piece of me. I was all over the place, one moment I was playing shuffle board with Edith and Paul on the top deck and the next I was in charge of a Boogle tournament. I had never been so social in my life. I had to be strategic with who I chose to have lunch with. Would it be with the sisters from Minnesota who always wore matching outfits? Or perhaps the military couple who never forgot to mention Regan when they said Grace? By the end of the cruise I was spread so thin I had even found my first white hair! In between going to the gym with Arthur and participating in Mary Ann’s paint and sip, I had noticed it in the reflection of my wine glass. At the end of the eight days I was grateful to get home to a slower pace of life with less day drinking. The fact that I dated a gay man and did not realize until after the fact, is a bit embarrassing on my part. I mean of course there were signs, such as the amount of times he would play ABBA, the fact that he only took me to gay bars and his sheer aversion to cold weather. He was a small man, with a great physique. When I would have him over to my house I would dress him up in all of my clothes to see how it would look if I lost ten pounds. He would parade around in my latest purchases to the soundtrack of Rupaul. I was extremely jealous of his body and I ended up giving him half of my wardrobe. When he would take me out to the gay bar, he explained it was a matter of convenience — this was the closest bar to his house and served the best martinis! Everyone knew him at the bar and all the burly men made a point of touching his back and buying us drinks. I guess I was somewhat to blind to the truth, I mean I was having so much fun. Here was a man who would take me to the mall and tell me what shirts worked well with my abnormally long torso. Here was a man who would call me gorgeous and make me feel confident. I was so used to men being avoidant with their feelings, that it was refreshing to be with someone who was openly happy to be with me. After two weeks of spending every day together and every night watching *Golden Girls*, I inevitably stopped hearing from him. I was upset for a long time. But through my anger I realized what I really was feeling was sadness. I missed having him in my life. Who would be blunt but endearing to me? Who would be the Blanche to my Rose? After many grueling months alone and having to spend Pride all by myself, I accepted the fact that he had finally spread his wings and accepted his fate as a gay twink. And for that I was happy.

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The Woke left? Where’d they go?

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# Confessions of a Barber (Who Is Really a Cosmetologist) I work at the VA hospital and run the only Barber Shop that has two chairs from the 1980s, no windows and one door. I installed a mural of pine trees in fog along a side wall which I face clients towards, and has been described as trees on fire when Canada started burning. We could smell and feel the smoke in our lungs all the way in Martinsburg, WV. I cut hair for Veterans, their family members, and the workers of the hospital. Anyone from the head of anesthesiology, who has two caterpillars for eyebrows that he refuses to let me touch, to the laundry specialists who work in the basement, which also has no windows. To those in the Doms completing their 45 day programs or longer for issues with substance abuse…there is a steady rotation of them, and even repeat offenders, I always welcome them when I see them, after all they could have been somewhere else but they finally made the choice to be there, so I am always grateful to see them. Did you know the average rate of Veteran suicide is 17.5 per day? I primarily serve those in the wards: The fifth floor which houses short term and long term care, the main floor which houses the rest of the long term care patients, hospice care, the 10 bed-those who are down the six months or less, and the dementia ward, my favorite ward. I have now given final haircuts to four people. I cut, I listen, I shampoo, I listen, I blow dry, I listen. I shave faces, I line up beards, I remove ear hair and nose hairs. I work six hours with no breaks. I become a camel. I loose 15 pounds. I listen. I contort my body to accommodate wheelchairs, hospital beds and giant hospital chairs. I have only almost ejected one person from a hospital chair thinking I was stepping on the break to lock the chair but instead stepped on the lever that popped the chair forward. The patient received an unexpected ride and we had a chuckle, thank god my “mom arm” swung out in time. > Do you know the difference between a good hair cut and a bad one? Two weeks! …I hear this joke a lot and repeat it often. I have been here for eight months and the only complaint I have received is not being open on a day I was supposed to be. I watch patients be moved from the 5th floor to hospice. From long term care on the first floor to across the hall in the dementia ward. Then finally from hospice care to the 10 bed. That’s the hardest move to watch, I try and take extra care with those services. I watch to degradation, I hear the hopefulness of “leaving soon”…he has been there for seven years. I smell the dirt and grim, the oily secretions caked on the back of ears and the flakiness of scalps not truly taken care of. I say something. I do not hear of hair cuts being needed from that ward for over a month. I keep calling and swing by. I bring extra towels and use patients sinks to saturate them with lukewarm water. I rub hair, behind ears, backs of necks, and faces gently clean and pat dry with another clean towel. I give hair cuts and shaves. I sanitize, I sanitize and I sanitize again. I wear face masks, I cut in designated “spa rooms” with horrible horror movie lighting and wet dog smells. I play music, I make fun of the branches of service, I ask about careers outside of the military, hobbies and their day. I don’t ask about their families unless they bring them up. I push a cart from 1993 and pull open metal draws that require super human strength to access my supplies. I ask for a new cart. I try and fix the one I have.

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My pollinator garden has Monarchs - so gratifying

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Effulgent Tonsure Febrifuge Suppurate Fusiform Stertorous Pellucid Cozen Impecunious Exogamous Courgette Wildcatter Sachem Saturnine Lilliputian Slubby Malapropisms Etiolated Clishmaclaver Concomitant Voluptuary Poltroon Helpmeet

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# Galway, Derry, Belfast, and the Fleadh Jana and I had some business we needed to wrap up in Galway, so went there for a day and then left the rest of the trip open-ended. We decided to head up to Derry and see the **“Now Entering Free Derry”** wall. I know working-class Derry well enough, so we head to a pub, where we meet a bouncer who says: > “You going to the Fleadh in Belfast?” And I say: > “What?” > “Surely you know that the Gaelic festival, for the first time ever, is being held right now in Belfast?” So we head on over to Belfast and reserve a room on [Booking.com](http://booking.com) in the Falls Road (Catholic/Republican area). The booking goes through, but when we arrive, the lady says: > “Aww, sorry Yank, the lock on your room is broken. We’ve got another room just 300 meters away, if you wouldn’t mind staying there?” I ask: > “What side of the peace line?” And she mumbles: > “Ughh, you’ll be stayin’ on the Shankill.” Hard-core Protestant/Unionist. I laugh and say: > “Yeah, that is fine.” So for several nights, we wandered home from Belfast city center, where spontaneous music would break out, with random groups of musicians forming to sing Irish folk music, much of it very Republican, including Kneecap. We’d sing with everybody, get drunk, and then head back around 1:00 AM up the Shankill—as near as I could tell, the only people from the festival staying there. We’d chat with the drunk ex-paramilitary guys as they came out of their pubs, and they’d ask: > “You heading back from the Fleadh?” We’d joke: > “Yeah, and we got stuffed into the Shankill ’cause no rooms are available.” And they’d laugh and say: > “Fair play to you.” Thirty years ago, this would have been a death sentence.

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Letting Go How do I describe this feeling? My fingers grasp onto the cliff’s edge Desperate to hold on. Letting them slip loose feels terrifying I let go. Free fall. Desperation. What awaits at the bottom? It’s a dream who’s ending I’ve never seen. Hold my hand, stay with me. I don’t think I can do this alone. The ground appears. Firm, and solid, and well Grounding. I can rest here, but I need your help. I need you to stay.

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"The false treasure is the hardest treasure to stop searching for."

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No butler, no second maid, no blood upon the stair. No eccentric aunt, no gardener, no family friend Smiling among the bric-a-brac and murder. Only a suburban house with the front door open And a dog barking at a squirrel, and the cars Passing. The corpse quite dead. The wife in Florida. Consider the clues: the potato masher in a vase, The torn photograph of a Wesleyan basketball team, Scattered with check stubs in the hall; The unsent fan letter to Shirley Temple, The Hoover button on the lapel of the deceased, The note: “To be killed this way is quite all right with me.” Small wonder that the case remains unsolved, Or that the sleuth, Le Roux, is now incurably insane, And sits alone in a white room in a white gown, Screaming that all the world is mad, that clues Lead nowhere, or to walls so high their tops cannot be seen; Screaming all day of war, screaming that nothing can be solved. —Weldon Kees, “Crime Club”

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What’s old is new again, while it’s been nearly 20 years since I last did it, I spent 3 weekends in July running noodle deliveries. I’ve got to admit that it feels a lot different throwing around 40-pound cases of noodles at 50 than it did at 30, but it feels good to be doing something semi meaningful. And it seems like the cult of the CEO and the power of the corporation has continued to increase. No real basis for it, but it seems like the number of layoffs coupled with companies really wanting the employees to believe in what they are doing. I’ve always felt there are two types of employees, 1. Sheep who need to be told that everything is okay and they need to believe in what they are doing and everyone else. I’ve never had a name for the second type, but I think I think they make up about 80% of any company.

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# August 2026 ## Atrocities of the month * Glacier collapse in Nepal — [EarthSky](https://earthsky.org/earth/nepal-flash-flood-glacier-collapse-landslide-aug-26-2026/) * Third Way — [Third Way](https://www.thirdway.org/) * Conditions on USS *Abraham Lincoln* — [BBC](https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cyvl2d5j52lo) * Hakeem Jerries and Jared Kushner meeting to find common ground — [The Nation](https://www.thenation.com/article/politics/hakeem-jeffries-jared-kushner-meeting-reaction/) * Trade war with Canada — [BBC](https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c4g4r4lxx25o) * Dolly Parton death — [YouTube](https://youtu.be/G37d7TJ74nw?si=3DO8EQTj_pqCo6RymP) (see *Diva deaths of the month*) * Trump's renaming Lake Ontario to Lake America — [White House](https://www.whitehouse.gov/presidential-actions/2026/08/honoring-the-american-history-of-the-great-lakes-and-renaming-lake-ontario-as-lake-america-3a36/) * Trump negotiating to give portion of Yosemite to private land developer — [NOTUS](https://www.notus.org/agencies/trump-administration-yosemite-private-developer-deal) ## ICE Atrocities of the month * U.S. Border Patrol wants a contractor to track down deported people abroad and collect their immigration fines — [Project Salt Box](https://www.projectsaltbox.com/p/us-border-patrol-wants-a-contractor) * DHS authorizes $20M to buy ICE officers electric shock gloves — [The Guardian](https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026/aug/11/ice-electric-shock-gloves) * ICE drags mother & daughter out of emergency room while they were being stabilized from a car accident — [YouTube](https://youtube.com/shorts/EQ1ANWI7FC0?si=53BdDc_Ts3NbxoED) * ICE to sole-source 100-bed Batavia detention structure to Guantánamo contractor — [Project Salt Box](https://www.projectsaltbox.com/p/ice-to-sole-source-100-bed-batavia?utm_source=post-email-title&publication_id=7128088&post_id=213005993&utm_campaign=email-post-title&isFreemail=true&r=27c07j&triedRedirect=true&utm_medium=email) ## Possibly race-related atrocities that will nevertheless be categorized as suicides of the month * Tasia Fortune found hanging from tree in Mississippi — [Mississippi Free Press](https://www.mississippifreepress.org/woman-found-hanging-in-tree-behind-vacant-home-in-jackson-but-details-are-sparse/) * Demetrius Fleming found hanging from tree in North Carolina — [WHUR](https://whur.com/whur/black-people-found-hanging-2026-new-cases-raise-questions-calls-for-independent-investigations/) ## SCOTUS shadow-docket atrocities of the month * SCOTUS allows Trump's mail-in ballot restrictions to proceed — [Supreme Court opinion (PDF)](https://www.supremecourt.gov/opinions/25pdf/26a124_hgci.pdf) * SCOTUS allows Trump's ballroom construction to proceed — [SCOTUSblog](https://www.scotusblog.com/2026/08/supreme-court-allows-white-house-ballroom-construction-to-continue-for-now/) ## Post-Roe atrocities of the month * Young NC couple arrested after teen allegedly took abortion pills in 3rd trimester — [The News & Observer](https://www.newsobserver.com/news/local/crime/article316773101.html#storylink=cpy) * Todd Blanche and the Comstock Act — [Jessica Valenti](https://jessica.substack.com/p/todd-blanche-abortion-ban?utm_source=post-email-title&publication_id=11153&post_id=209869478&utm_campaign=email-post-title&isFreemail=false&r=27c07j&triedRedirect=true&utm_medium=email) * Abortion surveillance — [The Guardian](https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2026/aug/08/cdc-abortion-surveillance-schwartz-hawley) ## Schadenfreude-including incident of the month * Milo Yiannopoulos arrested by ICE in New Orleans — [PBS NewsHour](https://www.pbs.org/newshour/world/far-right-british-provocateur-milo-yiannopoulos-arrested-by-ice-in-new-orleans) ## June atrocity of the month I missed See *June 2026 Atrocities of the Month*. * Trump closure of San Bruno branch of the US National Archives — [KQED](https://www.kqed.org/news/12088904/exclusive-the-bay-areas-national-archives-office-is-closing-researchers-are-worried) ## Diva deaths of the month * Dolly Parton — [YouTube](https://youtu.be/g3hJrAChpPM?si=pxmQEunbx7zMoJWv) (see *Atrocities of the month*) * Tim Curry — [YouTube](https://youtu.be/OqOEnbXmnGc?si=Usa9vipTmcFhHFlO) * Yayoi Kusama — [David Zwirner](https://www.davidzwirner.com/artists/yayoi-kusama) ## Celebrity deaths of the month * Frank Beard — [The Guardian](https://www.theguardian.com/music/2026/aug/18/frank-beard-dies-zz-top) * Hayden Panettiere — [Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hayden_Panettiere) ## Barista art show of the month * Emily Sullivan at Atlas Cafe ## Birthdays of the month * Kate Furnoy Olmstead, August 16th (see *Best spontaneous ferry-ride excursion to Sausalito of the month*) * Emily Sullivan, August 27th * Amy Sullivan, August 29th ## Restaurants of the month * Boogaloos — [Website](https://sfboogaloos.com/) (see *Birthdays of the month*) * House of Prime Rib — [Website](https://www.houseofprimerib.net/) (see *Birthdays of the month*) ## Irish goodbye award recipient of the month * Damon Poeter (see *Restaurants of the month*) ## Best spontaneous ferry-ride excursion to Sausalito of the month * Sunday, August 16th (see *Birthdays of the month*) ## Dolly Parton-produced TV show of the month See *Atrocities of the month* and *Diva deaths of the month*. * *Buffy the Vampire Slayer* — [Time](https://time.com/article/2026/08/26/dolly-parton-buffy-the-vampire-slayer-producer/) ## Off-Broadway musical of the month * *‘Heated Rivalry’ Unauthorized Musical Parody Sets Off Broadway Spring Run* — [Deadline](https://deadline.com/2026/03/heated-rivalry-unauthorized-musical-parody-off-broadway-1236769903/)

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I don't know why, but I want one.

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Why Mah Jongg? Now Canasta, Five Crowns, Farkle, Hand & Foot, Where are the Bridge players? Life can be fun, even during inclement weather.

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Metonymy Crepuscular Encomium Spoor Blowzabella Nomothetic Stentorian Sedulous Recurring vs reoccurring Immersion vs emersion Snuggery Mulct

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an excerpt from a NYTimes article by Frank Bruni that I really liked called "What Will You Do with an English Major?" What will you do with an English major? Anything. Everything. You’ll better understand the seeds of creativity and how they’re made to flower. You’ll swim in a borderless sea of thoughts beautifully expressed, ideas precisely articulated, words put into the service of emotions. The wetter you get, the more expert you’ll be at shaping stories, at persuading, and I can’t imagine any profession or any world in which better communicators aren’t better off. Besides, literature isn’t just fancy language and tall tales. It’s a library of verities given unignorable and unforgettable form. It’s Pilates for emotional intelligence. Think about how often, in discussions of political figures, Shakespeare’s tragedies, comedies, noblemen and fools serve as reference points and Rosetta stones. Or how frequently, over recent decades, George Orwell’s “1984” and Aldous Huxley’s “Brave New World” come up. So many of the warnings we should heed — and so much of the wisdom we need — are in those pages and those plays. How does anyone major in anything other than English? Then again, history’s no slouch. Without fluency in yesterday, there’s no conjugating today. When you study the past, you’re not memorizing dates, cataloging wars, valorizing martyrs. You’re learning about cause and effect, greed and goodness, the sorts of contests and the interplay of dynamics that set the course of events. You can’t name a line of work — or describe a kind of life — that isn’t nourished by that knowledge. .... The current whirl of events and inventions prevents any reliable scripting of the next decade, maybe even the next year. How, then, to prepare? Explore whatever subject gets your brain whirring fastest, your creative juices flowing most freely. Engage your intellect in a manner that teases out insights and generates ideas. Exercise the muscle of thought. Answer artificial intelligence with the real deal. It’ll come in handy whether the bots are tomorrow’s emperors or Edsels.

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I really tried prioritizing work all month and improving my sales and being more competitive in my work field.

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